I live with a friend from university, Charles. He’s a solicitor and works long hours everyday. By contrast, I’m an auditor who works long hours occasionally.
Business language was the topic of discussion in the flat this week. After a long, stressful day we decided to ban certain trendy business words. We spend enough of our time at work to warrant controlling out language in order to reclaim our free time. Actually it was just a bit of fun and we don’t have such serious goals. If I have the joy of your company in my home, then please, don’t use these words:
Going forward
| Definition | In the future (only for business types, doesn’t mean not going backwards). |
| Example | Going forward, let’s focus on asking the client the right questions. |
| Translation | You really messed up. But let’s have a group hug and put it behind us. And, if you want to keep your job, don’t ever do it again! |
Touching base
| Definition | Keep the team informed of anything that needs to be informed. |
| Example | See how this develops over the weekend and we can touch base on Monday. |
| Translation | Tell me what I need to know, when I need to know it and before you know that I know that I need to know it. |
Capacity to work
| Definition | Availability for work |
| Example | Do you have capacity for work? |
| Translation | Hi, how are you doing? Listen, I know that you have been working 20 hours and have a deadline for 5 different tasks within the next 23 minutes, but would you be able to go through the file and change the red ticks to green? Thanks! |
Adding value
| Definition | Create economic benefit in your work. |
| Example | How can you add value to your work? |
| Translation | You aren’t doing ay chargeable work, you are not justifying your salary. Even a paper weight would be more useful because it doesn’t need food. |
Going forward, do touch base by the next new moon, making sure that you have capacity to work in adding value to my Starbucks Coffee.
On Monday I hauled back about 5 kilograms of accounting materials. I have to look at two thirds of them before my next round of accounting exams in December. The remaining third will be examined in September 2009.
My favourite is the literary classic: "International Financial Reporting Standards 2008" (seen on top).
Despite moving back to the UK, Tianjin has not left my thoughts or my life. Yesterday, I got an invitation to join the Tianjin Blog Network. I was flattered to be invited but it didn’t seem appropriate. Anyway the solution was to just have a link to all my blog posts about China.
If you have come from the Tianjin Directory site, then I welcome you to a blog about an ex-expat going through reverse culture shock after leaving Tianjin in July 2008.
I stayed up until 3am (GMT) to watch the American election unfold. When Ohio was declared for Obama, I knew it was effectively over. I then got 4 hours of sleep and got up for work. Perhaps it was a mistake in retrospect.
The election has been foremost in the British public’s interest for the past few months - apart from the minor economic setbacks. It might seem strange to the Americans, but this election will probably have a greater effect on Britain than the next British election. There is a lot of expectation on Obama’s president and it would be easy for him to disappoint. Exciting times and a historic moment.
But for now, my main concern is that my bathroom sink is slightly blocked and I don’t own a plunger. If anyone can buy me one, or email instructions on how to make one from accounting textbooks, then I would be extremely happy.
I’m impatient. I hate waiting. For example, I will always run to catch the train. I apologise to those I’ve knocked over at London Bridge rail station while trying to catch a train that has already left. Although the next train is usually just 4 minutes away I continue to treat my work shoes like a pair of Nike trainers.
A few weeks ago, I finish my first day at the client site. I had spent a whole day auditing, which actually meant sitting around staring blankly at an Excel spreadsheet wondering how the numbers add up. I went back to the hotel tired and in need of quick food. We ordered at the restaurant but the food had not arrived after an hour. Waiting when hungry is not a good combination for me. So, I got up to the waitress, used some hand movements and asked for the food to come.
This was polite by Chinese standards, but was overly bold by British standards. I didn’t even think it was a big deal because I had got so used to demanding everything quickly in Tianjin. I used to feel that I greatly offended waiters whenever I asked for something. I’d use timid gestures and try to transmit my thoughts by telepathy. That inhibition has now gone, I get to eat sooner but I’m a little less British.