I’ve been reading a book called “Killing Rommel” by Steven Pressfield. It’s a WWII fiction about the exploits of a crack British unit. There’s a line which says that the most important factor in winning or losing a war is morale. Yes, I am comparing accountancy exams to armed combat. I’m bloody hacked off and I feel like waving the white flag.

So I’m impelled to take a break, regroup and finish writing this long overdue blog post.

Water
All great cities are situated near some natural water feature. Beijing goes against this by being in the middle of a desert, but is still a great city. London has the River Thames and Toronto has Lake Ontario. Both are equally polluted. So the only way to judge which is better is to time how long you would survive a swim. In the River Thames you would be instantly killed by the River Boat. I’d take my chances against the radiation emanating from the nuclear power plant on the shore of Lake Ontario.

London 0 – Toronto 1

Number of Chinese People
For some reason, vast numbers of Chinese have made Toronto their home. The Chinatowns of both cities are pretty dire. However, Toronto wins because they sell cheaper bubble (tapioca) tea. 

London 0 – Toronto 1 – Liverpool 1 (because we have a better Chinatown with a much bigger arch)

Transport
Toronto’s roads are designed in an idiot-proof grid system. London’s roads require a Tom Tom to navigate, or a well trained black taxi driver. All Londoners moan about the tube, but the network is so extensive that two different shades of blue are needed for the map. Toronto has three lines and is crap.

London 1 – Toronto 1 – Liverpool -1 (I’ve just remembered how bad Merseyrail is)

Culture
Seriously? London hands down.

London 2 – Toronto 1 – Liverpool 0 (European Capital of Culture 2008 remember)

Global Warming Prospects
How would each city fare if the crackpot prophecies came true and the ice caps started to melt?

• Liverpool – floods
• Toronto – Also floods, and you will be attacked by radioactive moose
• London – Floods, unless you keep working in the office on the 17th floor while civilisation collapses around you. At least there won’t be a cooling problem on the Underground
• Beijing – is safe! Those ancient Chinese City planners were actually geniuses.

Final score

London 1 – Toronto 0 – Liverpool -1

And a million Scousers demand a recount.

The weekend was beautifully hot, which was perfect for receiving two friends from my ex-life in Tianjin. So, instead of entertaining them, I reflected upon my time in Tianjin.

Life is a lot different now, but I still try to squeeze in too many activities in my free time. I used to teach English, learn Chinese, work on the website and try to get to church on time. Now, I’m run around Greenwich park, play badminton, update this website, overuse my Oyster Card and write long rambling emails. I occasionally go to work and I’m always late for church.

Do I miss anything about my life in China?:

• The strong exchange rate – used to be 14 to 1 but that’s now gone
• Friends – mostly gone. But most of them turn up in London to see me.
• Teaching English – Audit is my true calling. That last sentence seemed strangely unsettling…
• Learning Chinese – I do miss learning Chinese a lot. It’s the statisfying pen strokes of a Chinese character. Or it’s the repressed childhood guilt of not knowing enough Chinese. Either way.
• Chinese food – I can cook this myself. I just have to live with the horrible taste

What I miss can never be re-lived, which seems like a sign that I should move on and live a life of audit.

On a completely unrelated topic, a big white ship came to my office near Canary Wharf carrying cheap Christian literature and pirates.

Logos Hope

I told you it was unrelated.

Posted by Wordmobi

I had a kimbab making lesson. Kimbab is the Korean equivalent of sushi but with meat and rice substituted for seafood. Excellent for the person with a seafood allergy. Read about a recipe here.

The Firm asks me to read the ethics manual again as a condition of my third revised contract. I’m still grateful that they allowed me to defer my start for 2 years. But the time is coming where I must wear a suit + bad shirt instead of jeans + bad shirt.

A party was organised for the British expats in Tianjin. There would be the usual fare of tea, cake, singing the national anthem and discussing the weather. However, I got caught up in the China vs. Qatar World Cup qualifier game. I had to walk the last half mile. I made the most of the situation by buying a red souvenir T-shirt which read: "China Wins!" China lost the game 1-0.

I needed to buy a water bottle desperately and one for 18 RMB. I bargained down to 16RMB but the seller refused to go any lower. So I walked away. I spend the next week in persistent need of a water bottle. I return to the same shop and buy it for the original price of 18 RMB. My students tell me that I got a terrible deal. The other teachers tell me that the Korean characters written on the bottle are nonsense. I still use the water bottle.

I scratch the site of a van while riding my bike. I end up handing over 100RMB to placate the driver. I can’t afford to buy any more water bottles for the rest of the year.

The flat continues to have electrical problems as the fuse can only support 2 out of the following devices out at any one time:

1. Washing machine
2. Air-conditioning
3. Water heater for the shower
4. Microwave

The fuse wire blows and I fix it using a pair of chopsticks. My health insurance is invalidated.

I make another trip to "Computer Street" to buy 5 hard drives. Computer Street is a geeks dream. There are hundreds of shops selling any kind of gadget and computer equipment. The shops range from clean glass displays to dark slime pits. I wonder how these places make any profit – it turns out that they are more solvent than the average Western bank.

There is a wedding in the park. Beautiful and touching.

What can I say about Korea that hasn’t been written before by better writers with better English? This is a good excuse not to write anything profound about my trip.

The Peace Institute also has Korean classes – so I have worked with Koreas every day I have been in China. They have a very distinct and proud culture. Do not lump them with China or Japan! In my experience, Koreans have make heartfelt and dedicated friendships with a strong group mentality. They are dedicated and disciplined in their work. I’ve gained a taste for Korean food. My favourite is sweet barbecued meat. Kimchi, which is pickled, spicy lettuce has a powerful flavour. I’ve yet to find a cheap Korean restaurant in London.

I posted the photo above to show the history and modernity of Seoul. There is a march in traditional dress in front of the entrance to a royal garden. In the background there is a Dunkin Doughnuts shop. America has greatly influenced Korean development but the independent streak remains. I was in Seoul during the demonstrations against the import of potentially BSE-infected meat from the US.

Tianjin International Fellowship (TIF)

TIF is a fellowship for foreigners living in Tianjin and it was my church away from home. There were a great mix of attendees from many nations. I particularly looked up to the many successful Christian businessmen. I helped with setting up the sound of Sunday morning. Fortunately for me the cables can only be plugged in one direction. The best memory was when I leaped off the stage to turn off a sudden burst of horrible feedback.

The Earthquake

12th May 2008. 69,227 dead. 4 million homeless. I still find hope in God. In the miraculous stories of those pulled from the rubble. In the millions in donations and the endless work of volunteers. (Link – ways to give).

1. Teaching English – part of my job description. About 25 hours a week.
2. Mandarin lessons – 4 + 4 + 4 hours of lessons, travelling and homework.
3. Coffee house – planning and rehearsals.
4. Gym – some hours in a sweaty dark gym. The gym I go to in London is bright, well ventilated and has a rowing machine. I still prefer the Tianjin gym
5. Mock interview practice – I scared the living daylights out of her. Oxbridge interviews were easier. She passed the real thing in the end.
6. Website – Creating the school’s new website was in full swing. Even though the technical aspects of the website design were outsourced, management still took a lot of time.

The pressure took its toll. Sometime in April I got very upset and extremely annoyed. I felt over-worked and under-valued. I wanted more help. I sulked.

This showed a lot about me. I enjoy helping people wherever I can. I value hard work. I feel that every minute of everyday should be productive. I need the acknowledgement of others for my sense of self-worth.

I learnt that this was incredibly unhealthy and I had to change my routine. I realised my limitations. There is a need for rest. April turned out to be my last Coffee House. I also booked a short holiday to Korea in May.

Looking back after a hectic 4 months in London makes April seem like a gentle time. However, I get to take a break from work on the weekends. My work life in Tianjin was more constant and there was the on-going pressure of cultural adjustment.

The Coffee Spot

I had my first meeting with Daygan. He was another fellow Tianjin Expat. But he was involved in local radio rather than teaching English. He started an ambitious project to open a Cafe in the heart of Tianjin. It’s called the Coffee Spot. Judging from the website, it looks like it’s successfully running.

Footnote 2: English teachers in China should never discuss history, politics or their preference of Coke or Pepsi.

March was a It was a mundane but busy month. Every line in my diary gets filled. I focused on online activity and writing.

My blog really got up an running. I had the blog re-designed in a fetching combination of green, blue and pink. I wrote an article about whether Chinese students should study abroad. I got a decent response to the article because I demanded that all my friends read it and comment on it. I was satisfied when some strangers read the article.

I also tapped into the Tianjin expats online community. I still have membership of tianjinexpats.com. The site works well because there is a small and motivated audience. A perfect niche. I used it to chat with other expats and publicise the school.

I started setting up the school’s new website for attracting new students. Like all IT projects, it was over budget and very very late. I hosted this month’s Coffee House, which was about Easter. There is photographic evidence below:

Economic forecast

Inflation lurches higher in Britain and JP Morgan offers to buy Bear Stearns for $2 a share. Could it get any worse? Yes – the price of bananas rise in my local street market.

If you have come from the Tianjin Directory site, then I welcome you to a blog about an ex-expat going through reverse culture shock after leaving Tianjin in July 2008.

My stint as an English teacher had made me more self-conscious about my spelling and grammar. I’ve also noticed how the English language has changed during my 18 months in China. Obviously, there are new words such as:

• Credit crunch
• Sub-prime
• Collateralized debt obligation
• iPhone
• Macrogolisation – the realisation of some old truths about money:
• cannot keep borrowing it forever
• it does not grow on trees
• people do want it back

OK, the list is not comprehensive and says a lot more about my interests. Plus I made the last one up after looking up the ingredients for the moisturiser I use.

The phrase that I have thought about the most is “at the minute”. When I first heard it I thought it sounded completely incorrect, yet, it seems (and probably is) grammatically sound.

Which wordsmith first came up with this phrase?

I’ve turned in my textbooks; cleared my desk; moved my photo to the “Former Teachers” wall. I hope that my students learnt some English and didn’t get bored by my jokes.

Teaching was an enjoyable experience because teachers are respected in China. Imparting knowledge to other is a satisfying experience for most people. Below are some thoughts about it all:

• Ban on Chinese – I banned Chinese in the classroom to the point of screaming at students to use English only. This is a fundamental law in teaching theory. However, some days I gave up because there seemed to be no other way to teach. Some students can’t seem to escape thinking in Chinese.
• Differences in Western and Chinese learning styles – My lessons are proactive and encourage students to talk as much as possible and ask questions. Traditionally, the Chinese students learn by passively listening to the teacher. Should a Western language be taught in a Western style?
• Chinese English Teachers - I’ve met students that have been learning English since before I was born but have not managed to go beyond the elementary levels. This reflects the lack of native teachers in Chinese primary schools and the emphasis on reading and writing, rather than communication.
• Whiteboard or blackboard? – You decide.
• Do good students overcome bad teachers, or do good teachers overcome bad students? – I’m saying that learning language is a partnership between student and teacher.
• English is definitely harder to learn than Chinese.

If any former students wish to make a complaint then please leave a comment below:

丁字沽 (DingZiGu) Bus Stop Information

Tianjin’s bus system is comprehensively covers the city. The buses are cheap, clean and frequent. In the space of 3 months, most of the old buses have been replaced by new ones. Though the overcrowding problem remain during rush hour, but it’s not bad considering the city is home to 10 million Chinese (and a few expats).

Unfortunately, the timetables are not tourist friendly. You really have to know the layout of the city and remember the Chinese road names in order to figure out where you want to go. I’ve missed a few buses whilst trying to decipher the timetable.

Roller Blade Academy

Children can learn how the roller-blade in the park where the school is located. I had to cycle through swarms of roller-blading children to get to school and, fortunately, always managed to avoid hitting anyone.

Earthquake Donations

After the Sichuan Earthquake there was an outpouring of donations from all people of Tianjin. A list of donations in descending order was posted on red paper in all the apartment complexes. The donations ranged from 100 000 RMB to 10 RMB. In the West, there is honour in donating anonymously and this would be considered ostentatious. I asked my Chinese teacher about this and she said that the generous are respected. Are we too cynical in the West?

Tesco in Tianjin

Tesco have started their invasion of China. However, they were behind Walmart (the world’s biggest retailer) and Carrefour (the second biggest retailer), who have a bigger presence in the city. I shopped at Carrefour more because it was closer to where I lived.

Tianjin has many more interesting stories but they are for another (better) blogger to write about.

OK, it’s been ages since my last blog post. I apologise to you. My time has been spent writing my school’s new website. I’ve come to realise that my life is not so interesting and there are many more informative blogs about expat life in China. The only hope I have to distinguish myself is to write with correct grammer and adequate spelling.

It’s been raining an abnormal amount in Tianjin. Last year, there was a storm every week but nowadays it rains every other day. The title of the blog post actually reflects my departure from Tianjin in less than a week’s time. I know I will miss this Tianjin and I’m anticipating “Reverse Culture Shock” (RCS) when I return to Britain. The proximity of my leaving has meant that I’ve refused to buy an umbrella. I’d rather buy an expensive Chinese-imported umbrella in England than the same umbrella in China.

• Defend against enemy bicycles
• Increased aerodynamic downforce.
• Ability to carry three passengers at the back.

Unfortunately it now rides like an elephant.

The lesson itself was a little difficult to teach because using a projector to show the slides stifled discussion. It would have been better to print hand-outs and break up the class into small groups.

To end the lesson, I asked the following questions:

• Was Susan (the British-born Chinese girl) British or Chinese?
• Where should a BBC live?

The general consensus was that she was mostly British, which is what I would agree with. One significant remnant of Chinese culture that I have inherited is an immense weight of obligation to my parents. All non-deadbeat parents sacrifice for their children, but Chinese parents go the extra mile, with children strapped to their backs and no shoes on their feet. This, plus other idiosyncrasies, means that BBCs produce their own culture.

I was slightly shocked to find one student strongly suggesting that BBCs should live in China. It wasn’t my fault that I was born outside the Motherland. I can’t even contemplate living outside Britain.

Now, I am really interested in knowing what the Mainlander’s attitude is towards Chinese born overseas.  If anyone else is interested then please send me a large cheque to sponsor my PHD.

. Before I get a mass of complaints, I realise that my lesson plan is missing some fundamentals:

1. Statement of aims
2. No target grammar being taught
3. No timings on the plan

Whilst browsing for some material for the lesson I found a youtube video about being British-born Chinese.

There is a lot that I sympathise with. The long evenings spent by myself whilst my parents worked; acting as a translator; the feeling of isolation; episodes of racism (though it hasn’t been a problem for me for years); the long hours studying. Even my parents like to play Mahjong!

Well, I’m not completely like Susan. My parents are from mainland China, I never had to work that much in the takeaway and I decided to run off to China after university, just to confuse myself even more. Actually, my experience in China has taught me that I am British at heart. However, the more important lesson for me was to rise about the paradigm of culture. It is too easy to say that all actions and attitudes are caused by culture. I’m trying to look beyond and see the person underneath. Realising this, culture does not seem to matter so much anymore.

Actually, it does matter because it gives me an easy lesson to teach.

I met up with Daygan to talk about investing in The Coffee Spot. He’s got a good vision for what he wants The Coffee Spot to be. I’m excited. It will add value to the community, it will be a great place for expats and local Chinese students, the prices will be reasonable and there’ll be a real coffee house atmosphere. After many, many hours with an abacus I’ve calculated that the numbers look good for the potential investor.

The main thing is though, I’m sick of handing over my money to Starbucks’ shareholders.