A busy and varied month.

Nottingham
My sister graduated, which coincided with a return trip to Nottingham. It was surreal walking past students house that friends used to live in. Now there are faded stories about the time we lit a bonfire in the garden and burnt things. (OK, that was just the once on the corner of Faraday Road / Derby Road).

Liverpool
Always good to see the guys, despite our increasingly busy schedules. It’s the last summer before everyone starts their adult jobs. Yes, the six-year medical degrees have ended, but not before the drunken press up with a 75kg Indian standing on your back contest. Sam beat Graham 4-0.

Luton
Where I audit and fix printers.

Angel (North London)
Most sane people are finished with exams after university. I even had a sadistic enjoyment from setting my English students tests. But I decided that I needed three years of professional exams in my life. It’s a constant and unyielding pressure. I’ve spent three weeks at college in Angel. I just found out that I passed the mock exams from last week. I don’t feel any satisfaction – it’s just relief.

Why do I do it? Obscenely ridiculous post-qualification salary.

Karaoke
Actually, the my real motivation for work is the chance to sing karaoke on a regular basis. I’ve sung Take That’s “Back for Good” three times in July. Happy times.

Now I’m off to Canada for two weeks holiday. They say that Karaoke is banned there. Unhappy times.

I’ve been spending a hard earned week’s holiday back in Liverpool. I’ve rediscovered the art of being bored out of my brain, over-sleeping and late-night Rocky movies. Bliss.

I was shocked to discover that there had been a Chinese Triad knife fight at one of my favourite Chinese retaurants – Chilli Chilli.

Chilli Chilli Restaurant

It’s made national and international news. Some links:

• The Sun
• The Daily Star
• Liverpool Echo – The original article in the Saturday Echo included an (impressive) misspelling of the proprietor’s name.
• Liverpool Daily Post
• Liverpool Click

The police wanted to shut down the restaurant. But that’s an irrational reaction.

• Statistically speaking, the triads aren’t likely to do the same thing twice. The restaurant is now safer than ever.
• A bouncer has been hired.
• The restaurant still offers the most authentic SiChuan food in the North-West.
• I’ll continue to go there and continue to invite my friends. I think I might be eating by myself.

*Actually, good English teachers and accountants know that bankruptcy only applies to individuals. The alternative is "insolvency" but that only really applies to companies. A new word is needed?

Last Wednesday’s budget was shocking.

Over a pint of beer, my flatmate and I came up with some controversial measures:

Taxes Rises

The national debt is massive. Tax rises are inevitable. The alternative is to print money and inflate our way out of trouble (sound familiar?)

• The "Levi’s Tax" – tax on jeans with a waist size over 40 inches
• VAT to 20%
• Basic rate to 25% (OUCH OUCH OUCH)

Spending Cuts

Time to trim the fat.

• Cancel the Olympics – the money could be put to better use.
• Prescribe running shoes instead of medicine.
• Privatise schools and introduce a school voucher system. Efficiency savings all round.
• Cancel the £2000 rebate for cars – bad for the environment, everyone will still buy foreign cars anyway.
• No more agricultural subsidies. This is the real meaning of Fair Trade.
• Goodbye department for culture and sport.
• Cancel the aircraft carrier and issue everyone with a pitchfork.
• Cancel Christmas
• 99% pay cuts for junior doctors who once attended Merchant Taylors Boys School (sorry guys).

Tax Cuts

Tax cuts to stimulate the economy. Keynesian-style.

• Reduce employers National Insurance rate
• Give child benefits to schools to provide breakfast and free school uniforms
• Cancel the tax disc and increase fuel duty instead
• Cancel TV licence – expensive to administer.
• 50% tax on incomes over £1,000,000, not £150,000. I don’t think we should be scaring away the entrepreneurs.

Reforms

Reforms as a platform for the future. Monetarist-style.

• Massive investment in education
• Make engineering glamorous again
• More business/entrepreneurial education from an earlier age
• The environment – Carbon taxes, congestion charging

We sound like right-wing nuts. The other stuff wasn’t legal to publish. Suggestions?