I passed. If you don’t believe me, you can search for my name on the ICAEW website.

I celebrated by performing a petty cash count with my flatmate on his box of change. I initially offered him £10 for the box, which he rejected.

The total came to £86.68 – including 454 hand-counted pennies. I’ve included some bottles of beer in the photo to dispel rumours that accountants were unexciting.

For me, relief trumps happiness. It’s a hard road to become a chartered accountant. The next step for me is to ensure the controls around cashing the money at the bank are working correctly.

I’ve had two weekends without needing to study. It’s been great to spend the time reading, playing computer games and cooking proper meals. I spend time in some very esteemed company – five junior doctors shooting zombies at the arcade. This is why no-one makes shows about auditors.

I’m already looking towards the next milestone. I’m relearning the website building skills that I never actually had. Once again, I feel like I have to squeeze every productive second out of the day.

 
I’ve displayed a photo of the Sequoia tree at the Natural History Museum because it is 1500+ yeas old. Our lives are horribly slight in comparison. All that we aim for will not last and probably won’t deserve a place in the Natural History Museum.

However, please forget the trees because each day is important. With every second that passes we loose the chance to practice our audit skills by counting the tree rings.

I realise I’ve been insufferable over the past couple of weeks. I make no apologies.

The exams went OK. There were no major disasters:

• I woke up on time, ate a good breakfast and made my connections
• I found a Starbucks nearby and performed my pre-exam ritual of staring into space
• There were no weird accounting questions on the depreciation policy of Mexican Geese
• My pre-made lunch didn’t poison me
• I didn’t have to use my backup calculator or any of my two backup rulers. Disturbingly, I wasn’t the only one who had more than one calculator

I can now read my audit practices book in peace without the pressure of exams.

Except I can’t because the taxation exam is 3 hours away!

Posted by Wordmobi

Still better than the endless hours of taxation revision that I have to do. Why do people still asking me for advice?

Posted by Wordmobi

Now that my boss is placated. I can finally talk about the work I’ve been doing: absolutely none. I’ve been in college studying for (yet) more exams. The days are shorter, but very intense. Still, the weather was quite beautiful, which made for relaxing lunch breaks in the park.

I have three exams in September. These are not walk in the park exams (economics degree) but reinforced concrete exams (GCSE English Literature).

• Financial Accounting – further use of the double entry dark arts in conjunction with the Accountant’s Bible (i.e. the International Financial Reporting Standards manual).
• Audit and Assurance – it’s not about bean-counting, it’s about checking if the beans have been counted correctly within a margin of error of 5% or 475 beans (whichever is larger). Drop in these random words to ensure that you pass the exam:
• Segregation of duties – you can’t count the beans and eat the beans
• Going concern – not enough beans
• Authorisation – who said you could count the beans?
• Corroborate – checking for further evidence that the beans have been eaten. Involves a rubber glove.
• Taxation  – when filling out your tax return, if it feels wrong then it’s probably immoral and definitely taxable.

Taxation is the hardest of the three. The syllabus is huge and there are a million little rules to learn. But it’s the subject that I find most interesting and useful. I can work if Mr Taxman is taking more of my money than he should. I can help friends avoid the wrath of Mr Taxman. I can also tell everyone that Mr Taxman is actually a fashionable, friendly and fun guy, who wants to help rather than hurt.

Not a photo of Mr Taxman, but an artist’s impression of how I will look in 12 month’s time.

Fun stuff I did apart from revising:

• Badminton

I picked it up again a finding a decent badminton court nearby. Believe me, South-East London is a badminton court desert. The only downside is the low ceiling with wide gaping holes where panels should be. I expect to lose one shuttlecock a week.

I haven’t lost any of my old skills. However, I range randomly from the sublime (running cross court smashes) to the incompetent (missing open courts and hitting my partner). Unfortunately, I still bias towards the latter. 

• Weekend away with church group

Great fun (wasn’t auditing). Delicious (eating the girls’ food). Humiliating (getting told off by an old lady for hitting her car with a ball). Disturbing (there’s a pheasant-killer in the church). Illuminating (you can’t rugby tackle in rounders).

• Ran a lot

I’m actually getting slower, but I still have my knees (unlike Graham {Graham is my running challenge [silly bet to run 100 miles (link)]competitor}).

So, 5 down and 10 to go. The next three are in September. The Exam Cycle Ends Only To Begin Again.

*Hoi Fung pointed out that I never mentioned if I passed or not. This is a late addition!